I wish I could understand life more.  Without wanting to sound completely suicidal (I’d never do it), I literally can’t see any reason why life is even worth any effort whatsoever.  As far as I can decipher it [life] is just years of depression and disappointment peppered with mediocre highs.  Hardly worth the exertion, is it?  I don’t see things changing that drastically that i’m going to feel much different in five, ten, twenty years.  If anything, I will regret giving chance after chance to life surviving on futile hope that my mind will suddenly become a beacon of light and repel the darkness it’s currently festering in.  What’s the point if you aren’t happy most of the time?

On top of that, I am constantly plagued by obsessive thoughts of my friend’s decision to see what the “other side” has to offer.  I can’t help but feel he knew what was up. I’m weary.  Bored.  Disappointed.  Confused. And CBA.

2 notes

  1. lethem-eatcake said: This makes me so sad. Come be with me, we can be lonely spinsters together <3 xox
  2. thismaysoundtrite posted this

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